Remembering the Good Times

Isn’t it funny how you get older and think back, then you enjoy many memories a second time or even more? For instance, growing up in the 1980s was a great time for some. MTV was created, hip-hop was born, outrageous fashions were a trend, neon colors were very popular, people looked for ways to express their individuality and creativity; and hairstyles, slang, and fads were embraced by people of many different cultures. Similarly, music was diverse and creative, and people were optimistic and celebratory. There was something for everyone in the 1980s. And yet, you can not lose the joy or the beauty you have already experienced.

Subsequently, photographs, as well as remnants of the past can take you way back. Feelings of happiness, joy, peace, and fulfillment may begin to resurface through these memories. Although these artifacts and remnants that you associate with the good times may fade away, the joy and the happiness of those experiences live on inside of you to grow even stronger. It is good when you can look back and remember how good life has been, so be thankful for the good times you’ve had and the good memories you have of them. Just be careful to not hold on to the memories so tightly that you miss out on opportunities to create new experiences for you to treasure. Every new day is an opportunity to make more beautiful memories. “If you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. “A lot of people don’t appreciate the moment until it’s passed.” – Kanye West. Now, let’s have some fun. Come on and go with me, let’s go back down memory lane (Minnie Rippleton).

Some of the fads of the 1980s were boom boxes, Rubik’s cube, cabbage patch dolls, break dancing, Trapper Keepers, roller skating, double-dutch, “that’s my car,” house music, and the candy house where you could get penny candy, icy cups, cupcakes, and twenty-five cent can sodas. Children of the 1980s did not have iPods or MP3 players, only Walk-mans or boom boxes. Cell phones were not popular until the early 1990s, and all there was in the ‘80s were pay phones or the neighbor’s house phone if you were out and needed to make a call. The street lights were your signal that it was time to go home or at least to get “on the block” where you lived. Children played fun games that required you to be active such as, Piggy (softball), catch the girl..., red light – green light, hide-n-go-seek, and skedaddle. More importantly, neighbors told on your children if they saw them behaving badly. There was no such thing as “snitching.” If you did it, you reaped the consequences. Depending on where you lived, the neighbors may have even disciplined you themselves and still told your parents about your misconduct. Therefore, you paid the cost doubly for our actions. It would be good if we could make today and the tomorrows resemble the 1980s.

Specifically, artists and music of the 1980s was fun. Talent ruled supreme. Hip-hop was born and it was especially popular. It changed music forever. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop (R.I.P), was also extremely popular in the ‘80s. One might even say that MJ ruled the 1980s. He was the inspiration for new artists today and he has paved the way for new talent. His music was positive and in his songs he pleaded for change and a better way of life. In the late 70s MJ made the song The Good Times. This song is clearly about an experience where he had some memorable good times. Thus, there are a few lyrics that stand out. Michael Jackson shows his longing for joyful days of the past when he says “learning how to give, learning how to live, learning how to love, the good times, baby.” Giving, living, and loving are what life is about no matter what the situation may be. Concerned with the 1980s, Michael Jackson had numerous HITS including: The Girl Is Mine; P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing; Billy Jean; Beat It; Baby Be Mine; Human Nature, Bad; Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin”; Say, Say, Say; The Way You Make Me Feel; Thriller and more. Yes, MJ clearly ruled the ‘80s decade. He was a man of many talents, creativity, and inspiration. He will never be completely duplicated and he still is greatly missed by all.

In the meantime, attitudes were changing in the 1980s. People were expressing themselves in all forms and in their music. Aside from the Pop Rock artists such as MJ and Prince, there were other HOT! artists and Hip-Hop Legends including: L.L. Cool J (I’m Bad), Heavy D, JJ Fad (Super Sonic), Whitney Houston, Special (I Got it Made), A Tribe Called Quest, Madonna, Eurythmics (Sweet dreams, are made of this), Keith Murray, Tears for Fears (Shout), Duran Duran (Hungry Like a Wolf), Big Daddy Kane, KRS-One, Karen White (Superwoman), Wham (Wake me Up Before you Go-Go), Biz Markie (Vapors), George Michael (Faith), Cyndi Lauper, Taylor Dane (Tell It to My Heart), Paula Abdul (Straight Up), Public Enemy, Run DMC, Marvin Gaye (Sexual Healing), Beastie Boys, Bruce Springsteen (Born in the USA), Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, Saln-N-Pepa, MC Lyte (Light as a Rock, Paper Thin), Soul II Soul, Doug E. Fresh, Kurtis Blow, De La Soul (Me, Myself, and I), Janet Jackson (Control), Slick Rick, Too Short, New Edition, Survivor, Blondie, Culture Klub, Oliva-Newton John (Physical), Bobby Brown (My Prerogative), INXS, New Kids on the Block, Queen Latifah, Lisa Stansfield (Around the World), Foreigner (I Want to Know What Love Is), Irene Cara (Flashdance), Stephanie Mills, Tracy Chapman, Young MC, Simply Red, Ray Paker Jr. (Ghostbusters), NWA, Ice Cube, Easy-E, Dr. Dre, The D.O.C., Cameo (Word Up), Arrested Development (Everyday People), Erick B & Rakim (Paid In Full), Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five (The Message), and so many more.

Television shows included: The Cosby Show, Dallas, Dynasty, Fame, MacGuyver, Knight Rider, Miami Vice, 21 Jump Street, Mork and Mindy, Laverne & Shirley, Happy Days, Diff’rent Strokes, Family Ties, Good Times, Facts of Life, Three’s Company, The Dukes of Hazzard, Alfred Hitchcock, Murder She Wrote, The Arsenio Hall Show

Cartoons included: Smurfs, Woody Woodpecker, Tom & Jerry, Popeye, Bullwinkle, Flintstones, School House Rock, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, Super Friends, G.I. Joe, A-team, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, The Jetsons, Under Dog, Rainbow Brite, She-Ra Princess of Power, Shirt-Tales, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Thundercats, and The Littles.

Video: Atari video game console, video arcades hang-out; Games included: Donkey Kong, Centipede, Millipede, Pac-Man, Mrs. Pac-Man, Mario Bros., Frogger, Dig-Dug, Pitfall, Q-Bert, Asteroids, Space Invaders, and Super Breakout.

Fashion/Clothes included: excessive gold jewelry, multiple rings on every finger, leg warmers, parachute pants, baggy clothes, Cazals, the Madonna look, neon, acid-washed Jeans, the Izod alligator preppie look, Members Only jackets, bomber jackets, Guess jeans, Swatch watches, jelly shoes (Jellies), Reebok hightops, BK’s (British Knights), Lotto gym shoes, Chuck Taylors by Converse, shell Adidas, jumpsuits, paint splatter clothes, stretch-stirrup pants, red-black-and-green clothing, Spandex, mini-skirts with leggings, bamboo earrings, clock necklaces, Kangol hats, baggy top over a tight bottom, units (versatile items that could be used as a skirt, a tube top, a belt, or a head wrap), an oversized sweatshirt coming off one shoulder, ballet flats, and excess clothing (layers of clothing).

Hairstyles included: The side ponytail, asymmetrical cuts, Hi-top fades, Jheri Curl, crimped hair, banana clips, dreadlocks

Slang included: fresh (cool, new), have a cow (be overly excited or make a big deal out of something), gross out/grotesque (to make someone sick, not literally), gag me with a spoon (a response to something you disliked), house music (disco type dance music), ill (cool, hip), lame (uncool), psych (meaning “gotcha”), to the max (to the extreme), wannabe (a person desiring to be like someone else), wicked (excellent, very good), bogus (unfair or unfortunate)

In any case, the 1980s encompassed many forms of creativity such as music, dance, mc-ing, rap, fashion, poetry, graffiti art, and speech. KRS-One said it best when he said “Love yourself and your expression, you can’t go wrong.” Hip-hop was created to be a means of individual expression. “Hip-Hop is supposed to uplift and create, to educate people on a larger level and to make a change.” – Doug E. Fresh. The ‘80s were truly a time of family, friends, and fun. What happened?

Alternatively, drugs (cocaine, crack, and heroine) drastically impacted our communities in the 1980s too. On the downside, families were torn apart, a greater number of children were placed in the foster care system, crime increased ferociously, prostitution expanded, drug-exposed babies were born, envy and jealousy contributed to more violent acts including murders, and the world started on its downward spiral. That being said, it is foolish to envy someone for what they have or have accomplished. First, your perception may not be accurate. Second, you do not know what someone has gone through to get what they have or to reach their social status. Third, you can have whatever you want if you go after it. Unjustified self-respect and the ego separated friends and made them enemies in the 1980s and it continues today. Sadly, a high percentage of the generation of men and women born in the 1980s were drug-exposed, neglected, and forced to fend for themselves. The negative cycle only then continued. Many of them had children at very early ages, as irresponsible adults, and the cycle still continued on. In their favor, the children today have so many opportunities available to them; unfortunately not all of them are equipped with the life skills to take advantage of them.

Children who grew up in the ‘80s did not have as many opportunities and advantages of the children growing up today, but they had consistency. In contrast, children of the 1980s took more risks, explored more places, got more creative with their skills, and made opportunities from what they had. Children in the 21^st Century have it great. Modern technology has provided greater opportunities and has opened doors no one would have ever imagined thirty-years ago. Unfortunately, too many children today do not take advantage of these opportunities because they are not being prepared to be responsible adults. And it is not all the children’s fault. Parents have to stop working so hard to be their child’s friend. “Your role on this Earth is to be your child’s parent and not their friend. I think too many parents forget that,” – Judge Glenda Hatchett. Now, it is perfectly okay to be friends with your child however, the role of the parent should not be overshadowed by the friendship. You are always the parent first. If the lines get blurred in the relationship the children can get mixed signals. This is not healthy for the child or the parent.

Also, parents have to do more than dress their children in the latest fashions or spend little quality time with them. Parenting is demanding, but it is a challenge that is taken on differently by everyone according to the backgrounds, traditions, and understanding of each individual. Challenge yourself to learn more and do not be intimidated. There is no book that can tell any person how to parent a child. Parenting comes instinctual to most people. Listen to your children not only with your ears, but with your eyes and your heart. Learn to understand your children's body language and be consistent with your children. Children need to have boundaries, which are not an exception. Listen to your children, cheer for your children, be affectionate toward your children, be consistent with your children, and prepare your children to be responsible adults. Goodness is always there, even when you think your situation can get no worst than it is, there is still some goodness in your circumstance. Even with the pitfalls, life is still good. With a little faith and a sense of humor, you can cushion some of the bumps.

Remarkably, I have to admit I love how the swagger continues with the new generations. The children today have brought back the Preppie look and many of the young adults are doing positive things. It is too bad that all the negative media outshines the children who are positive and are focusing on their dreams. The most we hear about a child being a good student or their accomplishments is when they are in the news as innocent victims of senseless crimes. This must stop. Not all of today’s kids are misbehaving. I have witnessed children and young adults (ages 14-27) taking a stand for justice and forming resource groups and networks. This is wonderful. Children are frustrated with the violence and ignorance too. These 21^st Century children have their own fads that are catered to their generation, as well: the mohawk hairstyle (very popular with both girls and boys), white t-shirt (not necessarily gang affiliated; the white t-shirt is also a plain and simple way of being fresh, neat, and clean); Nike Air Force Ones gym shoes, the Dougie (a dance), swagga (distinctive style and confident presentation of self), 2 Step (a dance), all up in my biznezz (someone meddling in your business), whaddup (hello, what’s up), whassup? (how is it going?), hater (someone dislike someone else, jealousy), what’s crackin (how’s it going?, good to see you), baby daddy (the father of, or a male that provides for, a female’s child), beast (some one who is raw, the best or able to get active when needed), fam (friends, family), bling (mostly jewelry, but also encompasses expensive clothes, cars, and lifestyle), boo (boyfriend, girlfriend), feel me (to ask if someone understands you), treated (to correct or confront someone to teach them a lesson).

This list can go on and on. Still, the point I want to make is none of us are safe these days. It is time for change. Children are the future. They need love, guidance, support, and positive role models. It is not okay to degrade or belittle your children. This can be devastating to their character and self-esteem. Corporal punishment is not necessarily the best form of discipline. You know your child. On the other hand, there are some children who may need more corporal forms of punishment than others. However, withdrawing privileges and ensuring your child understands his/her consequence is just as effective in most cases. Children need strong spiritual direction, regardless of your faith, and they need a good portion of your time. As parents, you still have to respect your children. With anyone, it takes respect to get respect. Do not underestimate their intelligence because they are children. They pay attention to everything you do and say; nine-times-out-of-ten they are going to do what you do and not as you say do.

Teach your children to be responsible adults, to take consequences for their actions, to not tease and taunt other children (because it could easily be them), and to have respect for themselves and others. There are rules that apply to this journey. You learn them as you go. Uncertainty is great in human existence. Life is a journey of trust. No one knows what tomorrow will unfold. But you cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today. Beginning today and in all of your tomorrows, I wish for you all the creativity, visions, dreams, and various flavors that life has to offer. Change looks promising and I have faith that God is able.

“I think that the science of Hip-Hop and Rap are so far skewed to the unknown, that people are just dropping the ball on what it is, what it means and where does it come from. People are making their own relationship with Hip-Hop in their head.” – Chuck D

“During your life never stop dreaming. No one can take your dreams.” – Tupac Shakur

Peace and Blessings,

Kai